There are times when words are not enough, cannot express the insult to the soul of humanity. Such it is for the gang rape and hanging of those teenage girls in India; such it is for the stoning to death of Farzana by her unrepentant father; such it is for the girls of Nigeria, still missing. Such it is for the daily killing of women in the Caribbean.
But words are what we have, the main tool in our kit to grow the knowledge and outrage to mobilize all of us and our states to take effective action against the perpetrators so that, if nothing else the families of these girls and women get some comfort. That they know that the world has not looked away from monstrous cruelties.
What can we do? What is to be done? So many words already, more than ever before about violence against women and girls. In laws, in conventions, in national action plans, in the media, in poems, in research papers, in posters, on YouTube, in campaigns…. So many words already.
We can go into the development speak about political will, effective implementation of laws and policies, awareness building. And yes it is all needed. But what we must have now, as much as we have always needed it and not got it, is for more of our menfolk to see this as their issue.
We need more of them to organise the marches, make the statements, go as delegations to Ministers of government, call out their friends who abuse women, seek appointments with parliamentarians, refuse to laugh at sexism, obsess about violence against women and girls, about how to stop it without any buts about women raising boys, or being perpetrators or whatever.
We need more men to defend a shared vision of a world intolerant of violence against women and girls, not to be defensive. There are men doing this work already. Praises. Just not enough.
The mind can hardly process what the eyes see in the image of these girls hanging from that tree. Strange and bitter, bitter fruit. Murderous misogyny.
In her Ode to the UN, Maya Angelou ends with these words:
When we come to it
We, this people, on this wayward, floating body
Created on this earth, of this earth
Have the power to fashion for this earth
A climate where every man and every woman
Can live freely without sanctimonious piety
Without crippling fear
When we come to it
We must confess that we are the possible
We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world
That is when, and only when
We come to it.
What's the idea? 
I must confess to feeling overwhelmed and powerless by the obvious disregard for human life, human rights and freedom. You are so right… our menfolk must see this as their issue as well. I so admire your unfailing energy and passion. Linda
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Thank you Roberta. As a parent of a young man, your words resonate with me. I have words, and I will use them as often as I can.
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Thank you for this Roberta. Too often I feel like the struggle (la luta) is too much. This is a gentle reminder (for me) of the work I can do with the young men in my life as artist, teacher and mummy.
Maya Angelou was such an inspiration too (as are you) for she used her words as art not only to make us think but to make us move. Thanks!
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[…] What's the idea? also viewed Angelou's advice as incredibly relevant when it comes to the global issue of violence against women and girls: […]
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Came across this recently…
Perhaps this is something that women are missing, or not aware of enough, in the discussion of where some of it is coming from, or being driven from, and thus how to change it? Underlines, again, the need for men to not only speak up and step up but to look within their private and secret lives. It has been said that the power, ease, simplicity and spread of the internet has been driven by the desire to access porn.
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I agree: we can’t stop violence against women unless men understand that it’s damaging to the whole of society – and to their own futures (and soul) as well.
I was a conference in Canada recently that explored the link between ‘love’ (it should have been ‘sexuality’) and violence. The sub-title was “when the fairy tale ends”.
It was sponsored by a local Shelter for Battered Women and focused on the law enforcement community, the Special Units that work with domestic violence. I was amazed and impressed by the compassion of the male presenters…
The conference was opened by Michael Kaufman, Canadian, founder of the White Ribbon Campaign (of men organized to end violence against women) which now operates in many countries. I remember trying to interest Caribbean men to get involved in the Campaign a few years ago when I made a presentation on the role of men in ending VAW. Michael’s presentation was entitled “How to raise our boys to be good men” – a beautiful presentation that linked gender-based violence to the stereotyping of masculine-feminine roles in socialization and through the many institutions that reinforce and perpetuate patriarchal-defined roles for men and women.
Clearly, the situation is deeply, deeply embedded in patriarchy – which explains why it’s so difficult to bring it to an end without tackling that root cause by convincing more men that patriarchy robs men of their own humanity.
Thanks Roberta for inviting us to look at this, again.
Peggy
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Words are not enough. At times like this I seek the power of silence, love and forgiveness. Thank you Roberta and thanks for sharing Maya Angelou’s wisdom.
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