I am not one for New Year’s resolutions, something about being contrary. But actually, why not? Resolutions are made in moments of some fantasising about what one would have to do to have that better, more healthy, exciting, fulfilling life that we all want always.
So here are mine:
1) Run a marathon: Now I have only run half marathons and I have absolutely no interest in running 26 miles, certainly not at my slow pace which only makes for self-boredom. So this may be a metaphor for doing something somewhat obsessively and excessively that requires calling forth some inner character and resources for achievement. Over the last week I have been in the houses of two friends, including old neighbour Dave and marvelled at their medals for running, for what it said about them and their dauntless spirits. Or I think of brother in law Roger and his manic cycling. Hmm.
2) Talk less, listen (actively) more. I think that what I am getting at here is being less certain and more inquiring. But what do you do when the person is really chatting the intolerables? No, I do not want to be the person who does not start any argument, who thinks that every idea has some merit. Some things are just plain wrong. But how to know when to give that feedback and when to forbear? And how to know when I am responding from pure ego (imposing my view) as opposed to a more genuine engagement where the exchange of ideas has a purpose? I think I will struggle with this one for the rest of my days.
3) Read some (or one) big novels. I will start with Dostoevesky. Now I really miss the book club, not only for the food and fun, but with them I read books that I would not otherwise thought to do.
4) Forget about the internet between 4-7 in the morning. These are my peak concentration and thinking hours. But how I use them up trolling the internet with the Caribbean newspapers (Nation, Express, Gleaner, Starbroek) and my other favourites – www.salon.com, www.theatlantic.com, www.guardian.co.uk; www.redpepper.org.uk (recent addition), not to mention Facebook and email. Enough. But having said that, I welcome website suggestions.
5) Start cooking again. The thing about being without family over the last few months, is that I have put my domestication into cold storage. Now wondering about that, about the discipline of self-care.
6) Learn something new. I do not have the time for ambitious learning goals (like a language) but certainly every day offers a gallimaufry of moments for new thoughts, reflections, experiences. (Learnt that word yesterday).
7) Delve into popular music. Or try a little. I am amazed how little I know about music circa now. Who is Frank Ocean for example? or Esperanza Spalding?
I recall listening at night in Wavel Avenue to those 1950s and 1960’s Platters and Sam Cooke tunes wailing out of Millie’s Hideaway. And wondering whether Millie had heard of Earth Wind and Fire. Call me Millie now.
8) Try with orchids. Or any plant for that matter. Again, see No. 5.
9) I like Nina’s ‘Yes Thank You’ resolution. That is, being open to all invitations and experiences. This is how friend Valerie also lives. But saying no, can also be liberating. I mean sometimes, the book and bed combo is just the best thing life can offer.
10) Writing. I let the blog slip in 2012. But I do love it and have to try harder.
And what about the elegance of the quotation above: “cultivating cheerfulness, magnanimity, charity and the habit of holy silence”?
Would love to hear your resolutions.
Happy New Year to ALL. I am one for resolutions. Every year I make a list, a long list which I never accomplish but to me resolutions are more about reaching than about actual achievement. I love Elena’s suggestion on JOY. I am naturally a happy person but joy is a higher more acute state and as I get older I think that I am tending to joy. I am now an avid reader and I am trying to ensure that I understand my space and that my journey in this life has purpose and meaning.
Tremendous exchange. Dearest Roberta, please keep writing WE all are in some way dependent on your contribution.
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I decided to go for one thing, JOY. Not happiness, which I think of as much more long term, semi-spiritual and overarching, something we work towards holistically. I mean everyday bursts of in-the-moment, appreciative responses to all the little lovely and ordinary things that happen. And cheerfulness and laughter, popular here, I think are the main ingredients for this joy.
I too am being inspired by the responses!
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I like thta- everyday bursts of in the moment appreciative responses.
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Roberta’s blog reminded me that it has been many years since I made New Year Resolutions. It caused me to wonder whether this might be age-related. When I was younger I was better at fantasizing. It also made me think of what my resolutions at the start of this New Year might be. I wasn’t having much luck until I read today’s Ode to the beauty of Trinidad and then the flood-gates opened.
First, I would pay more attention to the beauty of our planet – whether in Canada, Miami, TT or Barbados (my current circuit). Nature has always been my greatest teacher, inspiration and solace but in the hustle-and-bustle of living (even in retirement) it’s easy to take it for granted.
This led me to recognizing the need for a resolution about always remembering to be grateful: even when the worse things happen, they can be EVEN WORSE.
The gift of a Kindle (actually, it was my mother’s gift from my brother, but it has ended up as mine) lead to a resolution to read more. Right now almost all my reading is on the internet – mostly newspaper articles. That one should be easy, given my addiction to screens.
A resolution I make every year, for the past 15 years, is to sort out my papers and other STUFF. Downsizing has become increasingly urgent: with each passing year the energy decreases. Like “going on a diet from tomorrow”, downsizing is all too easy to put off, and needs annual reminders. So…
Reading the other responses also gave me some good ideas:
• Learn something new (Roberta & Rosina)
• “Cultivat(ing) cheerfulness, magnanimity, charity and the habit of holy silence” (thanks Roberta)
• “I want to be perfectly clear about what I value…” and live this (thanks Rosina)
• Spend more time just “being” (thanks Cherise)
• “Strengthen my spirit…” (thanks Jacqui)
And, Roberta, thank you for including in yours “Writing… (your) blog”. I REALLY ENJOY THEM.
Many blessings to everyone for the New Year
Peggy
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That is an interesting reflection- on aging and fantasizing.
We all have a vested interest in you sorting out your papers. So here’s hoping that you hold on to that resolution!
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I love Sunity Maharaj’s “Selling Joy to the World” .(Sunday Express 23rd December). Being happy and Spreading Joy is my Motto for 2013 and beyond. I want to be healthy but exercise and food must be enjoyable. No marathons for me. The Gallup poll on global happiness really got me thinking.
I am clear that the whole point of all this human activity is with the aim of increasing happiness and yet we are busily copying the unhappiest nations. Money and technology have become our new masters and they have no heart. The millionaires and billionaires earn and spend in the hope of increasing their happiness. The UK and US rank among the most depressed nations
The fact that six of the top ten happiest countries were in Latin America and the Caribbean with Trinidad and Tobago fifth, followed by Thailand really fascinated me. I was really shocked to realize that Singapore was the unhappiest country. It led me to think about what these happy countries had that are important gifts. Among them are;
1. Laughter .As my wonderful uncle would often say, “if you do not laugh you would cry” It does not mean inaction. It means that you approach action without being weighed down by sadness or despair. When Trinis act decisively many are surprised because they mistake the laughter for acquiescence.
2. Community. Trinis and Latins understand the importance of family, coming together to celebrate and party. The ability to “drop in” spontaneously to visit, “lime” and enjoy one another’s company is considered odd in some cultures.
3. Openness to learning something new every day including the music of Justin Beiber at fifty and sixty. The Thais doing their Tai Chi in groups in the park at the same ages capture similar elements. Their care in decorating their food is the inverse of the fast food culture.
In 2013 I want to be perfectly clear about what I value and nurture in myself and my culture and what I will promote as valid goals and models. While I value the self discipline of the good people of Singapore, I am clear that the US and Singapore are not desirable models of development. Joy is valued at billions and is never spent.
Have a Healthy, Happy and Prosperous New Year
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laughter, community, openness. I like! And yes, I think as a principle of living, we all have to be really clear about what we value.
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10 is really too much Roberta. You are setting yourself up to fail. Just try one or maybe two easy ones. Dumping the internet for a few hours or even days would be a really good one but can you really do that. Once you’ve been a surfer it’s hard to quit.
Might I suggest antiwar.com for a nice addition to your internet library.
Lots of wishes for the New Year especially keeping to your resolutions.
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You make it sound like an addiction, which of course, it is.
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Roberta,thank you for writing. Happy 2013! When I was a child I conceptualised the year 2000 as something out of a star trek episode … here we are in the full swing of the 2000’s now … o gosh, the world didn’t end up like I’d imagined at all. What next? Resolutions? Of late I crave escape from my endless mental activity, and I wonder if I can devise a way that is not wrapped in a concept, to just be. How to ‘be’ without having to figure out how to be … sounds nuts? Now that you have me thinking on this 🙂 – I resolve to exist as much as possible outside the confines of my mental box … for a moment when I woke up this morning, I forgot that the world was in a horrid mess and I tell you … what a feeling … I can honestly say for that one tiny moment, I was free!
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Happy New Year Roberta! Like you, I do not make resolutions. I liked your list however, and will endeavour to use items 2, 7 and 10. There was a time when I had every new album – then CD – that came on the market. This morning my 10 year old son asked if I liked Justin Beiber music. When I told him that I did not even know 1 Justin Beiber song he could not stop laughing. So I guess it is turn on the radio more.
I have been meaning to do some writing (poetry that is) for many many months now. I have not added anything to my collection in years. I think it is time that I use that God-given talent. Maybe I will one day publish that collection that I’ve talking about for nearly 2 decades!
My overwhelming desire for 2013 is that I strengthen my spirit and find ways to serve my community. Don’t know if I call those resolutions or not.
Thank you for writing, you both entertain and inspire me!
May 2013 bring you health, love and happiness.
God Bless.
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I like that formulation- strengthen spirit and serve community
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