Many years ago when I was still in practice, I was asked who I thought were effective advocates. Back in the day before case management and scheduled court dates, lawyers awaited their turn. And that’s observation time. Notwithstanding the terrible clichés about lawyers, they do come in all shapes and consciences. Not just the blow hard of that oft-told joke: Lawyer, motioning to man who has entered office to sit, he being on the phone “No I cannot see you until next week, I have a part-heard in San Fernando and then I appear in the Court of Appeal before going to London in that Privy Council Case.” Turning to man, “How can I help you?” “Oh, I’m from the telephone company and I’ve come to re-connect your phone.”
There are those lawyers who are short on authorities but long on words; those always seeking an adjournment; those sweet-talking the other side into an untenable compromise; those afraid of judges; those so comfortable in their advocate skin that you sit back in awe at their confident competence. Is it now just folklore or did I really see a lawyer open a briefcase in which there was nothing but a tomato?
Anyways, I gave my list and this included Douglas. My questioner muttered something like, ‘well, that’s immodest”. Immodest? Really?
From where comes this unspoken but widely shared rule that while you can be publically fulsome in your positive assessment, appreciation and praise of strangers and acquaintances, with family members, it should be all reserve? Is it a superstitious concern?
I got to thinking about this recently because my first niece Jamille, the oldest of the Clarke Dozen cousins graduated from Carleton University with ‘highest honours’. She has been an exemplary student, an all-round hard worker. The authoritative biggest cousin.
Highest honours Ann and Jeewan? How great! You not sending out an email?????
Just as we sometimes need to live one day at a time, we probably need to acknowledge one achievement at a time, for who knows what tomorrow will bring.
As first and oldest, this bright spark that is Jamille will certainly light the way for the others in so many ways.
As the Desiderata says “Enjoy your achievements …”
Congratulations.
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I do agree with you that we are so often busy with the pursuit of our own tails that we miss the point.
To stop acknowledge others and celebrate the little successes along the way must be where true happiness can be found.
And certainly the big ones should not go without an acknowledgement.
And although I cant say that I remember Jamille now I do know her.
Congratulations my dear to you and your family ,and with your modesty and temperament success will follow you throughout your life
Hyacinth
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this is one aspect of the north american culture that we can learn well to embrace – celebrate, acknowledge and claim our personal achievements…
congrats jamille!
it is a thrill when the next generation validates hope.
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It’s not that I am not proud and happy of Jamille’s graduation, I am.
But there are two more to make the trek here and nine more cousins to go.
The level of praise and happiness will be at it’s highest when they all reach their respective pinnacles, regardless of discipline or chosen field, be it academic or not.
So the feeling needs to be contained until that goal is reached – in other words, an even response for all, until then.
Nevertheless, thanks for the congrats directed my way…
Jeewan
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Congratulations Jamille!!
We have a saying in Dominica in patois: ‘Leih bon, diy bon..’ loosely translated, it means “when something good happens, say so.” No bragging, just complimenting and supporting, as we should, for sometimes we are prone to criticise young ones so quickly.
So, much blessings,best wishes and success in your life ahead.
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Thanks Aunty Roberta (and Aunty Yvonne & Sarojini!) for all the flattery and well wishes.
With regards to my parents’ relative and uncharacteristic silence on the topic: I think that it IS partly due to this bizarre idea that family shouldn’t praise family for fear of appearing to be bragging. Truthfully though, it was probably mostly due to my insistence that they not tell everyone lol.
But we all know the regular rules don’t apply to Aunties. 🙂
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Congrats to you Ann and Jeewan. You must be very proud and of course congrats to Jamille. How time flies. You know them as kids and now they are adults starting to carve out their own paths in life.
All the best and I am sure Jamille will continue to do well.
Sarojini
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Congratulations, Jamille!!
Congrats Jeewan and Ann…
Well, when I saw this post pop up so late, way past Roberta’s bed time I figured that this had to be real good… I am one of the silent observers who rarely posts any feedback though I thoroughly appreciate and enjoy my dear friend’s blog on so many interesting and thought-provoking topics. I find it inspiring and am humbled by her sharing so much of herself, her inquiring, sensible and sensitive thoughts with us. Thanks Roberta!!
Jamille, as Auntie Roberta said “There is so much ahead for you!” I wish you endless joy, love, fulfillment and success in all your life works.
Well done! We’re so proud of you. Love to your Granny/Auntie Valli who must be simply delighted for you.
One Love always
Aunty Yvonne
(“Big-up” of-course from Dafar, Beyenne & Leslassa)
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