Got Lucky

Noel Charles died recently. I do not recall having ever seen him. But he was the owner of Alexandra’s Disco right there on the opposite bend in the road to the official residence of the Archbishop of the Anglican Church.

I got to be thinking again about Alexandra’s when  I came across the tune “Get Lucky’ via Alex. Like a time machine, I whirled back in times to the dancing hours spent in that darkened, light place with too cool danseur Beverley, Dawn, Linda and Wendy. I Will Survive, We Are Family, To Be Real, Donna Summer, Sister Sledge, Ain’t No Stopping Us and Ring My Bell with everyone doing the Rock for months. And then the rent-a-tile croonings of Teddy Pendergrass. Ah, for “Come on and Go With Me”. Except you would not want to be stuck in that song with the man with the flashing disco lights embedded in his T-Shirt, trying to impress his sweaty self into your chest. You are NOT going to electrocute me tonight. Battle for the sexes.

Described by one, as “one of the most sophisticated discotheques in the world”, Alexandra’s was the place for the hip, for us too and then for men lounging like lizards on velveteened chairs on the outskirts of the dance floor playing backgammon, smug as lions in the Serengeti. There was an upstairs and also side cubicles. Truth is, there was sense of the seedy about the place. What else, in the heady period of cocaine’s kaleidoscopic light?

We saw and even met celebrities. Richard Pryor, on to whose boat we were invited for a week-long cruising across the Caribbean. By the bodyguard.

But mostly it was a place for joyous dancing, all night long. We did get lucky, us dancing sisters, with life long memories of each other at our most carefree, interested in young men but not too much so in those moments on the circular floor, disco balls overhead, blinking UV lights capturing us in illuminating fragments, exuberant, more in thrall with our freedom, our sense of possibilities and Good Times.

We laughed a lot. And how we smoked!

Here is the time machine:

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5NV6Rdv1a3I

Songkran

This weekend in Thailand, it is Songkran, the  Thai New Year and a time for happiness and extended holidays. The traditionalists, and maybe the older more reflective folks, give offerings at the temple, thanks and blessings to others. The New Year celebrations are about beauty, with cleansing, the house and the soul and spirit. Lots of flowers everywhere, jasmine garlands made and presented.

And cleansing is associated with water. In other parts of South East Asia, this is the time for the Water Festival and essentially in Thailand, water is at the centre of the expressions of Songkran.’

At the Office, the staff arranged a commemoration for us, not from Thailand, and experiencing our first Songkran. Solemn with heartfelt honouring of each other and light-hearted with the happiness of sharing.

A favourite sweet in Thailand is sticky rice with mango and a coconut sauce. Delish.

From Saturday to next Tuesday, the likelihood of being sprayed and splashed with water is 100% if you leave the dry comfort of your house. Last night driving to the grocery, the car was repeatedly hosed down and rained upon by young people, prepared with barrels of water.

And the toy retailers do  grand business with water guns, coming in an array of styles, sizes and colours.

Otherwise, yesterday one of my colleagues took me to Ancient Siam, 30 minutes out of Bangkok. Ancient Siam is a re-creation of the glories of Thai architecture. and how splendid, how imaginative, wonderfully crafted, those buildings. And while amazed that someone had the vision to do this (one man from the private sector), you have to wonder at how much tradition has been lost in the thrust for high volume, western-style urbanisation. A globally common tale.

Anyways here are some pictures of Ancient Siam.

   

Good Friday

This week I was in Bali (to be accurate a hotel in Bali) where Holi, the Hindu festival was celebrated. Known as Phagwah in Trinidad, Holi,  is a celebration of the beginning of spring. It is a time of enjoying spring’s abundant colors and saying farewell to winter.

Today in Bangkok, it is another busy, traffic and food-filled day in public spaces. Except that it is also Good Friday. Now I did not grow up in a religious household though my mother is a good and observing Catholic. Not quite poto legliz (pillar of the church) as they would say in Dominica. But observant. This is one of her big regrets, not insisting on a religious upbringing for her children in the face of my father’s other points of communist-influenced view.

I do not feel that I missed out. But then, how would I know? In all the years of episodic church attendance through school outings, weddings, funerals and sundry services for this, that or another day, the religious experiences signified for me moments of community connection. Anthropologically important as solidarity, but not transcendental.

So why am I thinking about this today? Because I am missing the culture of Good Friday. In the Caribbean on this day, a silence descends. Reverence is in the air. The usual things cannot be done. We must stay at home, reflect on the sacrifice, the pain, the betrayal, forgiveness as a value and look forward to  redemption. Is there any more plaintive phrase in the Bible than “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do?’

My mother who was generally a relaxed parent, insisted on inertia. No, not a day for the beach or anything else. Sad things happened on Good Friday if you went looking for fun.  Drowning was almost inevitable. Jesus Christ was crucified on this day, for crying out loud. After all!

Did she really believe this? I have no idea. But her recourse to the unknowable yet menacing other world was always a trump card in her parenting deck. Anticipated, unbearable mother grief etched on her face– “I just have a bad feeling”.  I suppose it was her way of asserting her own sense of the solemnity of the day. Not a day to be blithe, but a day for restraint.

But then again, you have to love the Trinidadians, injecting the sacred with the absurd in their tradition of the Good Friday bobolee. And even writing it, I want to burst out in laughter. The bobolee is an effigy of Judas Iscariot, like a scarecrow. It is placed in a community space on Good Friday for anyone to beat with sticks and the like. The Good Friday bobolee has come to symbolize anything that is unpopular, usually the politicians. Talk about frustration release.

But that Trinidadian theatre aside, today, I feel disconnected from the Good Friday quiet. And truly, quiet must be the scarcest commodity in Bangkok.

Religion is a shared cultural experience, whether or not you believe in higher, omniscient powers.

I might have to go looking for a church this weekend. Well….

To freedom, autonomy and security

Today, still in the West it is IWD. I woke up in the East with some resignation, accustomed as I am to experiencing this day as one in which the sisters gather in small groups and say the things that we say to each other on every other day.

But on facebook, reflections from the wise and committed much larger community:

Svenn: It’s Inter/Outer-national Women’s Day! Ask yourself… Can she take a walk at night? Does she get equal pay for equal work? Can she access  the best reproductive and sexual health services no matter her income? Add more questions here… If the answers aren’t looking so good, just work on it. I am sure we can all find a few organisations working these issues and more.

Keshan: I love my feminist sisters ….who are working towards ending all forms of violence and oppression against women and girls! Let’s celebrate our feminists in society who are the ones in the struggle to end such oppression! They are working toward a positive and beautiful society to live in!

Liana: International Women’s Day is not so much happy as bittersweet. It is a day to help bring awareness to a cause that doesn’t often have a voice, because it is about a group of people, who don’t often have the chance to speak out. Today is about the women who don’t have access to education, reproductive rights, rights to their own opinions. It can be trivialized due to the fact that many people treat it like a big ol’ girls only valentine’s day, but in reality we should be focusing on the women who got us where we are, being grateful for how far we have come, and thinking about how we can be like those women who gained us our rights.

Michelle:  ..economic empowerment for our women, means less starvation for the world love and light

CARIMAN:CariMAN takes this opportunity to call on all the governments of the Caribbean to take a stand for improving women’s access to sexual and reproductive health services as well as respecting the rights of women to safely control their reproductive lives. CariMAN further urges our governments to protect women from the unequal treatment they receive in the economies of the Caribbean. …CariMAN remains committed to working in partnership with men, women and all groups who share a deep concern for ensuring the full recognition of women’s rights in the region

Vashty: It’s International Women’s Day! What have you done to to aid in changing the country or the world or your little part of the world (family, friends, fb friends) to help them understand that women and men must have equal rights and equal access? Or that women are not just boobs and butts and pretty faces but thinking, doing, achieving, amazing people who have equal rights to rule the world!

Jacqueline: When all women can believe that we are connect, can you imagine what an awesome world this will be?

Yao: My wish is that we carry International Womens’ Day beyond today, to every day after, into perpetuity. I love you mum.

 Aja: While not dwelling on the negative today, particular concern for me is the continual escalation of violence against women and girls around the world – the majority of times by their spouses – by the men in their lives. I plea, therefore, on this day that the World commits to eliminating violence against women and girls.

Alex: Women’s Day you say? Hoorah! For the young women of Barbados I say BE YOURSELF and KNOW YOUR VALUE at all times.

Crystal: Feliz dia internacional de mujer…en solidaridad! And for those who continue to bemoan the need for the day; please educate yourself on its origins and evolution. IWD shines a spotlight on the achievements of women and girls globally, contributes to invaluable discussion and spurs action which advances the agenda of empowerment and equality and facilitates opportunities for sourcing critical funds for those of us working to defend and preserve the rights of women and girls. CLARO???

Gregory: To the Women – Peace & Love

 Peter: ….. and wouldn’t it be great if men didn’t have to be reminded of their mothers and sisters and wives in order to be aware of and care about women!

Actions and Voices

In  “The Surprised Silence on Rape Cases” ,  Rickey Singh laments the failure of national and regional women’s organisations to make statements on two current cases of rape, including the tragedy (what an inadequate description) of the gang rape of the young woman in India. Is this  censure justified?

For the last twenty years, at least, women’s organisations have been making statements about the epidemic of violence against women and the impunity for perpetrators. Every year, gender justice activists accompany women victims to hospitals and courts, provide safe housing, organise trainings for the criminal justice system, launch  advocacy campaigns, hold candlelight vigils, demonstrations and go on radio programmes. And this happens in every country of the Caribbean, routinely.

As a result, there is domestic violence legislation and thousands of police have and continue to receive training to ensure a more profound access to justice. In some countries specialised police units are established and mandatory reporting of child abuse is required. These are identifiable achievements because of women’s rights advocacy.

But the culture changes much more slowly and in the face of  a Caribbean popular culture that promotes a model of aggressive masculinity, the challenge to reboot socialisation towards equitable and respect-based norms is enormously complicated.

Would it not  be something for trade unions, sports clubs, chambers of commerce, religious organisations to join in, making the condemnatory statements,  formulating campaigns, demanding of communities and states enhanced protection, justice and prevention of violence against women by men?

Ending violence against women  requires that men as individuals and in their collectives, accept the responsibility for making change, not because as a man yesterday in the street said as he stepped towards the traffic to give way for me  “women must be protected always”, but because women are equally entitled to safety and freedom.

Oh Trinidad

I have been in Trinidad for the last 10 days. I try not to read the newspapers and so my equilibrium remains, leaving my senses uncluttered by fret, free to take in the beauty of the country.

My goodness, the place is beautiful. Like the rest of the Caribbean, December-January brings  an atmosphere that is magical and sparkling. The air is crystalline, a backdrop for the greens to pop- from luminous chartreuse glinting in the sunshine, to emerald to mossy  viridians.  On the way to Blanchisseuse, the greens are overlaid with the yellow-oranges of wild heliconias, the reds of gingers and the profusion of colour offered by crotons, that most under-appreciated of shrubbery. And returning to Port of Spain in the twilight over the hills, the place cool, the vistas serene, composed, every eye full a postcard.

Yesterday I went for a drive with Ian down Chaguaramus. Always a  visual delight, the peninsula was pristine and quiet (at least once past the feters).  Lush bamboos and giant heliconia foliage. How’s this picture for perfection?

Be it resolved…

I am not one for New Year’s resolutions, something about being contrary. But actually, why not? Resolutions are made in moments of some fantasising about what one would have to do to have that better, more healthy, exciting, fulfilling life that we all want always.

So here are mine:

1) Run a marathon: Now I have only run half marathons and I have absolutely no interest in running 26 miles, certainly not at my slow pace which only makes for self-boredom. So this may be a metaphor for doing something somewhat obsessively and excessively that requires calling forth some  inner character and resources for achievement. Over the last week I have been in the houses of two friends, including  old neighbour Dave and marvelled at their medals for running, for what it said about them and their dauntless spirits.  Or I think of brother in law Roger and his manic cycling. Hmm.

2) Talk less, listen (actively) more. I think that what I am getting at here is being less certain and more inquiring. But what do you do when the person is really chatting the intolerables? No, I do not want to be the person who does not start any argument, who thinks that every idea has some merit. Some things are just plain wrong. But how to know when to give that feedback and when to forbear? And how to know when I am responding from pure ego (imposing my view) as opposed to a more genuine engagement where the exchange of ideas has a purpose? I think I will struggle with this one for the rest of my days.

3) Read some (or one) big novels. I will start with Dostoevesky. Now I really miss the book club, not only for the food and fun, but with them I read books that I would not otherwise thought to do.

4) Forget about the internet between 4-7 in the morning. These are my peak concentration and thinking hours. But how I use them up trolling the internet with the Caribbean newspapers (Nation, Express, Gleaner, Starbroek) and my other favourites - www.salon.com, www.theatlantic.com, www.guardian.co.uk; www.redpepper.org.uk (recent addition), not to mention Facebook and email. Enough. But having said that, I welcome website suggestions.

5) Start cooking again. The thing about being without family over the last few months, is that I have put my domestication into cold storage. Now wondering about that, about the discipline of self-care.

6) Learn something new. I do not have the time for ambitious learning goals (like a language) but certainly every day offers a gallimaufry of moments for new thoughts, reflections, experiences.  (Learnt that word yesterday).

7) Delve into popular music. Or try a little. I am amazed how little I know about music circa now. Who is Frank Ocean for example? or Esperanza Spalding?

I recall listening at night in Wavel Avenue to those 1950s and 1960′s Platters and Sam Cooke tunes wailing out of Millie’s Hideaway. And wondering whether Millie had heard of Earth Wind and Fire. Call me Millie now.

8) Try with orchids. Or any plant for that matter. Again, see No. 5.

9) I like Nina’s ‘Yes Thank You’ resolution. That is, being open to all invitations and experiences. This is how friend Valerie also lives. But saying no, can also be liberating. I mean sometimes, the book and bed combo is just the best thing life can offer.

10)  Writing. I let the blog slip in 2012. But I do love it and have to try harder.

And what about the elegance of the quotation above:  “cultivating cheerfulness, magnanimity, charity and the habit of holy silence”?

Would love to hear  your resolutions.